Ask Jonathan Anything: Part 2

Raina: [00:00:00] Okay. Can a couple negotiate their own settlement agreement?

Jonathan Breeden: Yes, a couple can negotiate their own settlement agreement and we actually strongly encourage couples to sit down and see if they can come to a settlement themselves. I do believe that if they have reached an agreement that they should employ a lawyer to represent one, not both of them in getting that agreement signed, written up into a formal separation agreement, a formal contract.

that has consideration and all the things you need to have a valid contract because we see a lot and consideration is there has to be a bargain for exchange. in a contract to make it valid. So if I give you a dollar in exchange for the dollar, you give me a cup of coffee that makes a binding contract because in separation agreements, that’s not always the way this is going to work.

Narrator: Welcome to another episode of Best of Johnston County, brought to you by Breeden Law [00:01:00] Office. Our host, Jonathan Breeden, an experienced family lawyer with a deep connection to the community, is ready to take you on a journey through the area that he has called home for over 20 years. Whether it’s a deep dive into the love locals have for the county or unraveling the complexities of family law, Best of Johnston County presents an authentic slice of this unique community.

Jonathan Breeden: Hello and welcome to another episode of the best of johnson county podcast. I’m your host, Jonathan Breeden. And today we’re going to have a special episode where I’m going to answer some questions from Raina Birch who’s our social media coordinator here at the Breeden Law Office. About some questions that we often get here in our office.

We have 2 different types of podcasts. We do. We have the traditional podcast where we interview interesting guests from the community that come in, whether it be board Business leaders, community leaders, and I’m sure y’all heard some of those. And then every once in a while, we’ll do this, episode, [00:02:00] which we’ll call sort of ask Jonathan Breeden anything.

And so that’s, what’s going to happen here. I do not know what these questions are going to be. I’m a little nervous about that. But we’ll see how it goes. I feel like I probably know the answers since these are common questions that are asked in my office, even I don’t know what they are. And we’ll go from there.

So hopefully y’all will enjoy learning a little bit about the questions that were asked in divorce and a divorce lawyer’s office on a somewhat regular basis. Welcome Raina. Thanks a lot. Thank you.

Raina: All right. You’re ready. I’m ready to get right into it. Okay. Okay. Can a couple negotiate their own settlement agreement?

Jonathan Breeden:Yes, a couple can negotiate their own settlement agreement and we actually strongly encourage couples to sit down and see if they can come to a settlement themselves. I do believe that if they have reached an agreement that they should employ a lawyer to represent one, not both of them in getting that agreement signed, written up into a formal separation agreement, a formal contract.[00:03:00]

that has consideration and all the things you need to have a valid contract because we see a lot and consideration is there has to be a bargain for exchange. in a contract to make it valid. So if I give you a dollar in exchange for the dollar, you give me a cup of coffee that makes a binding contract because in separation agreements, that’s not always the way this is going to work.

The consideration really is the end of the marriage. When people do these sort of We’re going to write it out on a napkin which I’ve seen, or we’re going to, we’re just going to write out on a yellow pad on the kitchen table, they don’t always make sure that there’s the consideration is listed in the contract, which can make it invalid.

And so you think you have an agreement until you don’t have an agreement. So, so yes, I, and I think the best agreements are the ones. that the couples reach themselves and we can help anybody if they want to [00:04:00] come in and sit down and meet with us about what a fair agreement would look like. Call our office at 919 661 4970, set up a consult, come in, tell us what you believe the agreement should be.

We’ll tell you what we think and if everybody agrees, we’ll be glad to write it up for you. Awesome.

Raina: Okay. Next one. How can an attorney help me with domestic violence allegations?

Jonathan Breeden: Well, I guess the first question is it allegations against you? Like somebody who’s accusing you of committing domestic violence or you’re a victim of domestic violence?

Raina: I think somebody is accusing

Jonathan Breeden: you of domestic violence. Accusing you of domestic violence. Okay. Well, if you’ve been accused of domestic violence there’s several things.

The first thing is, you know, what legal trouble are you in, or may you be in? Because domestic violence takes a lot of different formats. So. If you have been charged with a crime like Cyberstalking, assault on a female, simple assault, on a [00:05:00] child. These are all forms of domestic violence and you’ve been charged with a crime, then you would need a criminal defense attorney to help protect your constitutional rights at a criminal setting where you could easily be placed in jail even for a misdemeanor for four or five months.

If you’re convicted of assault on a female, it’s a It’s an A1 misdemeanor, it’s sort of an aggravated misdemeanor in North Carolina, and you can get five months in prison for that, and so you definitely, if you’ve been charged with a crime, you need a criminal defense lawyer to be able to advise you of your rights and make sure that your rights are protected in the criminal sense.

If you’ve been accused of domestic violence. What we see the most in our office is their allegations of domestic violence, and the other side is going and taking out a domestic violence restraining order against you, which is called, in short terms, a 50B restraining order. It’s under North Carolina General Statutes 50B.

And so, protective orders in [00:06:00] North Carolina are called 50B orders. And a lot of times people come in and we represent At least one or two people almost every single week where they have been accused of domestic violence and their spouse or partner has gone and got a domestic violence protective order against them.

Those orders, while they are entered ex parte, meaning the defendant didn’t have any say in what happens and it can put them out of their house and take their car away and right. You can’t see their kids or a lot of things, a very powerful order that a domestic violence protective order. Can be entered and you didn’t have any say in it at all.

The good thing is if you’ve been accused, it’s only good for 10 days. And so there’s going to be a hearing in front of a judge within 10 days. In Johnston County and in Hornet County, those hearings are on Fridays. And in Wake County, they’re every day of the week. And you know, so you have to react quickly because they’re only good for 10 days.

By the time you get served, you may only have three or four days before the court date and you want to make sure you have an attorney there to represent you and make sure that your rights are protected and that your side of the story [00:07:00] is being shared. You know, in our experience, the vast majority of the protective orders are not actually warranted.

Not that it wasn’t. Maybe domestic violence or something that happened, but you know, it has to be kind of bad to be able to get a restraining order. You have to place the person in reasonable fear for their safety. There has to be an act of domestic violence. You have to cause so much emotional abuse that they’re having physical symptoms of illness and stuff like that.

And they’re very powerful and they can affect your career, can affect your ability to own a gun can affect. A lot of things, security clearances whether you’re a firefighter, police officer, military they’re very powerful and so you need to make sure that, if you didn’t do it or whatever you may have done didn’t rise to that level, that is communicated to the court and that you’re represented in court so that maybe you can get that not extended because after that, there’s going to be a hearing and at the hearing, if the court doesn’t find by clear, convincing evidence where you’re actually there and [00:08:00] you actually get to present your case, versus just somebody going in and saying you did something, then you know, then the court’s going to dismiss it and it’s going to dissolve and it’s going to go away, which is ultimately the goal if you’ve been accused.

Now if you’ve been charged with a crime and a restraining order, you know, you probably want a different attorney for each one. The standard of proof is different. The advice you may get is different but you definitely want both of your attorneys sort of working together because anything you say and can say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

And that restraining order is going to come on for hearing a lot faster than the criminal case. And you have the right to to remain silent in the restraining order case. And so they can’t compel you to testify, but they don’t have to give you a continuance. And so if you’re unable to testify, then it may very well get granted so that you remain that right to remain silent.

So what I would say is talk to an attorney. That was a very long-winded answer. You probably got way deeper than it needed to get. That was great. But I, you know, I wanted to [00:09:00] sort of cover all angles there. Yeah,

Raina: Yeah. Anything you say in a court, it’s public record, so

Jonathan Breeden: Right. And in and in a civil courtroom in North Carolina, it’s recorded.

Yes.

Raina: Okay, next one. What do I need to do to get ready for my court hearing?

Jonathan Breeden: Well, it would depend on what kind of court hearing you’re having. But in general, regardless of what kind of court hearing it is, to get ready, you need to make sure that you’ve met with your attorney and y’all have a plan or strategy for what you’re going to do in whatever type of hearing you’re going to have.

Make sure that. If it’s a custody hearing or a child support hearing or anything with the finances, post separation support that you’ve completed your financial affidavit and you’ve given your attorney the supporting documents so they could make it in to exhibit and exhibit binders to be able to show to the court and to the opposing party so that you can go through.

your finances as quickly and seamlessly as possible to show the court what your need may be or [00:10:00] what your ability to pay or not pay is if you’re being asked to pay. You want to make sure that you dress appropriately. You know, you want to dress professionally and sort of in your Sunday best to show respect for the court and the judge.

You want to make sure you know where the courthouse is. You know where the parking at the courthouse is, you know how long it takes to park and walk to the courthouse, particularly in Wake County. You may have to park several blocks away and you’d be dealing with a lot of traffic. You don’t really have traffic in Lillington and Smithfield but, you know, you want to make sure you know where the courthouse is.

If it’s known before you get there. which courtroom number it is. So you can go to that courtroom. You could be on time. You know, and not everybody has to be there right when the court starts. If your hearing is going to be at two o’clock and court starts at nine, you talk to your lawyer, you might not be there at nine.

So you have to just sit around all day. Right. I would say you should bring a book. Because there could be a lot of waiting around at the courthouse. There’s lots of cases and there are not very many judges. [00:11:00] And so you may be there for a while. So pack your patience. That’s what I would say about that.

And you know, and if you’re going to be called to testify, depending on what kind of hearing it is. You know, know kind of what you want to say stick to the facts, don’t get into the emotions of, you know, why you hate your spouse or whatever, like you need to stick to the facts, like, like, you know, just stick to the facts as to what happened is that will support whatever case you have and the law you want the court to apply to ruling your favor.

Okay.

Raina: And I think something else I was told one time

Jonathan Breeden: was,

Raina: Just how your demeanor while court’s happening, while you’re sitting there, like don’t be making faces or anything like that. Like kind of keep it as neutral as

Jonathan Breeden: possible, Right. The judge sees all of that Right. And don’t react, right? Yes.

I mean, somebody’s gonna say something you don’t agree to. Mm-Hmm. Just don’t explode. Don’t react. Right. They’re telling their story. Everybody in court gets to tell their side, right? So regardless of which side it is, each side is going to get a [00:12:00] chance to have their say. And each side is going to be questioned by the other side of each question by your lawyer.

And you know, and the courts, you know, and while your case is unique to you and it is very important to you. I highly doubt that any judge, when they hear your case, is going to be looking at a fact pattern they have not seen or heard hundreds of times before and probably heard that debt. I mean, you know, divorces, separations, the causes of them.

The root causes, the underlying cause of what, why people get separated and divorced, you know, they’re, often very similar and you know, how it affects your particular children and what the court should do, what’s in their best interest or in your financial situation, it would be child support, that is unique, but the underlying facts are going to be similar to other cases.

And so while it is a big deal and unique to you. The judge is going to [00:13:00] have heard it. He’s going to know, or she’s going to know kind of how to figure out who they think is telling the truth, trying to figure out kind of where the truth is. I don’t know that they’re going to believe everything that anybody says.

The truth is often in the middle because everybody’s telling their version of it, which is perfectly fine. Three sides to every story. There is three sides to every story. What’s that country music song? Like where they’re talking about breaking up and they’re singing the song. And you know, he’s like, We both know that, we both know the truth, so let’s not go out and just tell some story that’s not true or something.

You don’t lie on me, I won’t lie on you, I think, are the lyrics of that song, right?

Raina: Right, yeah. So, anyway. That’s, yeah, country music, man. It’s always true.

Have family law questions? Need guidance to navigate legal challenges? The compassionate team at Breeden Law Office is here to help. Visit us at www. breedenfirm. com for practical advice, resources, or to book a [00:14:00] consultation. Remember, when life gets messy, you don’t have to face it alone.

Raina: Alright, so, next one. What do, oh, never mind. What’s the difference between an at fault or contested divorce versus a no fault or uncontested

Jonathan Breeden: divorce?

Okay, well, in North Carolina, there’s only one kind of divorce, and that is a no fault divorce. You know, other states, California and stuff, they have these fault divorces and the other. In North Carolina, It’s a no fault state. So, the only way to get divorced in North Carolina is to live separate and apart from your spouse for 365 days with the intent of one of the two spouses for the separation to be permanent and you not get back together.

You don’t reconcile during that 12 month period. And that is the only way to get a divorce in North Carolina. So when people say, well, there’s been an at fault, you know, [00:15:00] so, so there’s several questions there. So 1st thing is. The only way to get divorced in North Carolina is no fault, and that’s based on a one year separation from each other.

The, you know, when you hear contested or uncontested, what I hear is, do the parties have an agreement on the underlying issues as it relates to the property, the custody, the child support, the post separation support? And the Alamo. Okay. If there is some complete agreement on that, that can either be wrapped into a separation agreement, or they just don’t do any agreement at all.

And they just get divorced and everything sort of stays where it is. And they come to some verbal agreement about who’s going to pay what if you think the other person can do it, then that’s kind of uncontested or actually. You know, when you think about it, when you think about the divorce and in North Carolina is a bifurcated state.

So, so people need to understand that I wrote a book you know, divorce law in North Carolina, what you need to [00:16:00] understand, what you need to know you know, you can call my office 4970, we’ll be happy to send you a copy of the book. You can download the book on my website at Breedingfirm. com. You can read it.

It’s not going to take you but a couple of hours. And I go through all of this in the book where we talk about that North Carolina is a bifurcated state where each issue in the divorce is a separate standalone issue where in almost every other state. When you say divorce, that includes property, that includes children, that includes child support, that includes alimony.

That is not the case in North Carolina. In North Carolina, the way I try to explain it to people is, all of these issues are battles in the war. And when all the battles are over, Whether they are settled or their fault and the judge makes a decision, the war ends. So, child custody is a battle. Child support is a battle.

Alimony is a battle. [00:17:00] Property distribution is a battle. And whether you get attorney’s fees is a battle. So all of those things and they may have something to do with each other. Or they may not, and they may be fought on the same day or they may be fought on different dates. And so that’s the best way I know to try to explain it.

. And you know, if any of those issues are contested, then to me that is a contested quote unquote divorce. They mean the divorce itself Yeah. Is probably gonna be uncontested because it’s rare that you disagree whether you’ve been separated a year and a day. Right. So, but all these other things. Is where people spend a lot of time fighting and that’s where it’s kind of contested.

So you have to Sort of unpack those words as to what we’re talking about in North Carolina because each thing is its own Separate thing if anybody out there listening to this wants a better explanation. They want to call in Come meet with one of [00:18:00] us, glad to sit down and meet with them, explain all this.

Be glad to get anybody a copy of the book. I’ve got some blog posts on my website. We’ll be trying to talk about this very issue. There are other videos on my YouTube page. You may be seeing this on my YouTube page that answer some of these questions. So we have plenty of information out there, but everybody, you know, don’t make any decision unless you have the information that you need, you know, an uninformed decision.

Is not going to be the best decision because you can only make decisions based on the information you have. So you should gather as much information as possible before you make a decision. I agree

Raina: with that. Alright, last one.

Jonathan Breeden: You ready? Okay, last one. Okay.

Raina: How do I find the right family law attorney for

Jonathan Breeden: me?

That’s a good question. I believe that you should do your research. And I really believe that there’s, there is so much information out there. Almost every attorney I know has a website. That talks [00:19:00] about their background, their training, their experience has information that you can get from it.

I would search the internet. I would talk to friends and see if you can get referrals from any friends or family that have had um, Good experience. I think the Google reviews that you see out there, we have lots and lots of five star Google reviews, which we’re very, very thankful for.

You could definitely look at those reviews and see what other people with similar situations had experiences there and then, you know, and then I would narrow it down. You know, I would look and, you know, I would look and see and maybe bear it down to one or two, maybe three. And then I would call their offices and schedule a consultation and go in and say, I want to meet with one of the attorneys and get a feel for the place and see, Can I book an appointment within a month?

Is it three weeks to four weeks to just get a consult with an attorney? Do I want to wait three or four weeks for that consult?[00:20:00] Do you have three or four weeks to wait for that consult? Right. And if you have to wait three or four weeks for a consult, how long do you have to wait to meet with your attorney after you hire, right?

So, I mean, that’s important. When you call their office, are they able to systematically build a relationship with you and get your information and book you a time and send you the follow up information that you need and a questionnaire and stuff like that? You know, is that systematic? Are they, do they act, do they sound like they care on the phone about you?

Or are they just answering the phone? Law office. Like, you know what I mean? You call the green law office. You’re going to, you’re going to get up, you’re going to get up, you’re going to get a five star experience where people care about you. They want to build a relationship with you. They’re going to make it as smooth as possible.

You’re going to be able to get an appointment within a week. I mean, that’s one of our strategic advantages. We have plenty of staff here. We have plenty of attorneys who can get in and help you. They’re all highly trained and skilled and work with you. And then just [00:21:00] after you meet with them. You know, get their take on it and, you know, do you feel comfortable because this is going to be, it could be a long term relationship.

I mean, it could last particularly in Wake County. It’s nothing for divorce last more than 2 years. Yeah, I mean, I mean, Wake County could go forever. And even in Johnson Hornet with the backups now, you know, these cases can go for. 12, 18 months. And so it’s going to be a long time. You know, you know, you feel comfortable.

Do you feel like you were listened to? You feel like your questions were answered. Do you feel like, do they know the answers to your questions? You know, those types of things. Can you afford the attorney that you’re meeting with? Because you know, the initial payment, unless you’re paying a flat Which we don’t do here at Breenwall, but some firms do, is only going to be the beginning.

And it could be, it often could be more depending on how contested it is. Back to the previous question. Because the more you want to disagree and the more you want to fight, you know, attorneys sell time, right? You [00:22:00] know, Starbucks sells coffee. McDonald’s sells hamburgers. Attorney cell type. If it’s going to be convoluted and you’re not going to agree and everybody’s going to fight about, you know, lampshades here and stuff like that, it’s going to get very expensive.

But if everybody can sort of check their emotions to the side, start focusing on their future and what their future is going to look like and get there. You know, it might not be as expensive. You’ll be able to move on with your life a little bit quicker. But yeah, so I would say is. Do your homework, look at their training experience.

Read the reviews, ask friends and family for referrals, go and meet with one or two of them, see how long it takes to get in, see how responsive they are. Even after the consultation, they follow up with you. Do you, they send you emails, you know, that kind of stuff, because I can tell you that whatever experience you have.

Your initial experience with that firm is going to be the experience that you continue to have. So if it is, [00:23:00] if it’s high touch and personal and building a relationship and empathetic like the Breeding Law Office is, and we strive to do it every day, that’s what it’s going to be all the way through. If it’s cold, disingenuous, they don’t have time.

It’s a month to a consult. That’s what it’s going to be throughout the process. And I don’t know that’s you should want, but you just need to know, but you’re not, I tell my children, I tell my friends, I’ve told you Raina this before. You do not have unique experiences with people. You just don’t.

The experiences you have with people are the experiences that other people are having with those same people. You do not have a unique experience with business, right? Your experience of a business is often the same experience other people are having with the business, which is why those five star reviews that we have on all four of our Google My Business pages are so valuable and we have so many, and we’re so proud of all of them because those people.

trusted in us and we delivered a [00:24:00] service that was high quality enough that they went on to our, business pages. And they left us those five star reviews. And we earned those and we fight every day to earn those five star reviews. And I think that’s what you should use to help develop whether which divorce attorney you want, but you need to be comfortable.

You need to be comfortable in your church. You need to be comfortable in your relationship. You need to be comfortable in your job and you definitely need to be comfortable with your divorce attorney. Yeah, because you might be spending a lot of time with them. Correct. And paying them a lot of money. And you need to trust them because ultimately, you really probably should listen to their advice based on their training experience when they tell you this is a reasonable settlement.

Raina: Yeah, well, and I think that’s probably why I go into, you know, at least a couple of attorneys at the very beginning just to see, okay, are they, being truthful with me? Are they being honest? Are they just telling me what I want to hear so that I’ll come back and keep

Jonathan Breeden: paying them? Well, yeah, you never know.

And of course, You know, I don’t like giving out a ton of opinions in a consult because most of the time you don’t have all the facts, right? You have some [00:25:00] of the facts and you only have one side of the facts. But you definitely could talk about in generalities based on previous cases we’ve seen.

These things are to be assumed. This could be a likely successful outcome. I like it. Okay. Well, that’s all I have. Well, thank you. Thank you So anyway, if y’all have enjoyed this, Special edition of the best of johnson county podcast that we’re calling ask jonathan breeden anything make sure that you subscribe Like or follow this podcast wherever you are listening, whether it be on apple spotify youtube So that you’ll be made aware of future episodes when they are posted every week, which include lots of interviews with lots of community leaders and business leaders here in Johnston County.

And they come out every week. And you won’t miss any of those. If you really enjoy this podcast, if you’d be kind enough to leave us a five star review down at the bottom, it will help raise our visibility with people in the area. So more and more people become aware of the best of Johnston County podcast.

Until [00:26:00] next time, I’m your host, Jonathan Breeden. Thank you for listening. I

That’s the end of today’s episode of Best of Johnston County, a show brought to you by the trusted team at Breeden Law Office. We thank you for joining us today and we look forward to sharing more interesting facets of this community next week. Every story, every viewpoint adds another thread to the rich tapestry of Johnston County.

If the legal aspects highlighted raised some questions, help is just around the corner at www. breedenfirm. com.